K-Poppet

I Like My Leaders

2009-12-02T10:00:00.000-08:00

Hi, blog. I'm still alive. Thanks for waiting for me ;)

This post is about a strictly personal phenomenon I have noticed. Here's the background: I have three favorite k-pop male boyband singers.

#1 (in a class totally by himself) Kim Hyun Joong of SS501

#2 (A distant second, but nonetheless adorable) Kim KiBum of UKiss

#3 (Charming in a completely different way, and the major plus is that he's of eligible age) Leeteuk of Super Junior

I was thinking about it recently, and I realized...these lovelies have one thing in common. Beauty? Well, yes, but that's a given. Brains? Also, yes, but not the focus here. Personality? Getting warmer, but not quite.

They're all group leaders.

I didn't set out to go for leaders. I was just naming off my favorites one day and realized it had happened. Now, if you've been a k-pop fan for a while, you're aware of boy (and girl) band hierarchies. Every band has at least a leader and a funny, outgoing person who acts as mouthpiece (think Kangin of SuJu or JungMin of SS501). Depending on the number of members, there is also usually a secondary leader whose style is different from the main leader (HeeChul of SuJu or YoungSaeng of SS501). There may also be a sweet member whose personality is generally popular, a "center" member (KyuJong of SS501, YoonA of SNSD, Eunhyuk of SuJu), and of course there's a maknae, the youngest member, which is a more flexible role because it depends so much on the particular member's personality (i.e. Dongho of UKiss, HyungJoon of SS501, TaeMin of SHINee, and Seungri of Big Bang have far less in common than, say, HyunJoong and LeeTeuk).

Do you find that your taste across groups favors members in the same position, or does your taste span all kinds of members? I guess something about leadership is magnetic to me. Maybe it's the unconscious residue of being a youngest child and naturally feeling comfortable with someone else in the leadership role. I like people who wear authority well, accepting the responsibility but not being too heavy-handed about it. The K-pop world has a lot of these kinds of leaders, and as much as I deplore a lot of the negatives, that's one aspect I applaud.

Are you a girl who goes for Centers? Maknaes? Clowns? Do you gravitate toward leaders like me? Or is it all just random? What do you think?

I am dying of girl groups

2009-07-22T13:34:00.000-07:00

Let's see how many I can name off the top of my head:

SNSD
Wonder Girls
T-ara
Kara
Brown Eyed Girls
2NE1
4Minute
After School

Well, there's 8, and I don't even like girl groups much. If you're a fan, I bet you could name 10 million more.

It's not that I don't understand the concept of having a lot of different groups. What gets me is when so many of them debut around the same time, with similar looks, and virtually identical music. Is there a market for it?

I'm a huge fan of capitalism, but just how much demand IS there for these groups? We'll certainly find out, because apparently the ahjussis at the music companies are going to keep flooding the market with tiny teenaged high school dropouts until even the most die-hard middle school girls lose interest.

And yes. I'm a total hypocrite. I love boy groups. Bring 'em on.

SS501 Is getting so great...

2009-07-21T18:03:00.000-07:00

...that they should be SS502 now.

Seriously, if you saw this band at the beginning, you saw boys frolicking on bed with printed pajamas, kissing each other. And that was just the first day. They were adorable, yes, but far, far away from the gloriousness of today.

Did you see the 20 minute MV in which they were all shooting at each other and being awesome? Or how about all the photoshoots that just keep getting better and better?

Questions for thought:

How does Kim HyunJoong make everything he does, including blink, seem hot?

Will HyungJoon keep wearing Mickey Mouse boardshorts?

Is there anything in the world cuter than YoungSaeng's smile?

Is KyuJong made of sugar?

Can JungMin marry the whole world?

Seriously, they are awesome and getting awesomer.

SNSD: How Do I Hate Thee?

2009-06-19T10:43:00.000-07:00

Let me count the ways....

1. I hate the way you make women seem like vacuous dolls, but
2. Also sex objects devoid of feelings. "It doesn't matter what you do to us; we are fake dolls anyway."
3. I hate the way you combine "little girl" with "slightly pornographic," thereby tapping into some of the most disgusting thoughts people ever have.
4. I hate the way you act innocent and nasty at the same time; I'd rather you be honest and forthright about it. Actually, I'd rather you just skipped it entirely.
5. I hate the way you let yourselves be used. You are individuals somewhere in there. What happened? Science has now proven that men see us as objects when we objectify ourselves. No girl deserves that.
6. I hate the way every new song seems to propel us backwards in the journey toward women seeming like valuable, intelligent, and serious human beings.
7. I hate that you are so much better when you are allowed to be individuals, but that your promotions make you into a robotic unit of stupidity.
8. I hate how amazing you make JYP and and the Wonder Girls look. It's not like they aren't objectified, but in comparison they seem like poster girls for empowerment.
9. I hate the clothes they make you wear, clothes that lie, like schoolgirl outfits made a little too short, too tight, or too low-cut.
10. I hate that you're not what you could be-beautiful, classy, smart girls who make a positive difference.

SS501 Kim Hyun Joong Teaser

2009-06-16T09:01:00.000-07:00

[I sent this tip to popseoul, but they aren't getting any cookies because they made fun of my man, and they didn't even make fun of Kyu Jong's song being called "Wuss Up?" What is UP with you people?]

Kim Hyun Joong's song "My Girl" is finally being released as part of the SS501 20 minute drama MV. The teaser shows a couple of shots of him being a gun-toting killer, but most of it is him dancing and singing. No complaints here!

Won Bin is Weird Looking

2009-06-15T12:38:00.000-07:00

....and it makes me want to cry.

I know some people find him extremely attractive, but there's something about him that creeps me out.

SS501 Kim KyuJong Teaser

2009-06-15T08:49:00.000-07:00

Thanks, allkpop.com, for alterting me to the fact that the teaser for Kyu's part of the upcoming long drama was just released. There is a lot of guyliner and him gunslinging and being cool. The song is called "Wuss Up," which made me a little (try, a lot) apprehensive, but it's quite catchy, and he appears to believe in it, which is the important part for this sort of thing. Here's hoping the other members' teasers are as fun as his.

Weird Profiles

2009-06-13T17:37:00.000-07:00

I have noticed in the past that profiles of Korean celebrities often contain odd and (in my opinion) irrelevant or overly personal information. The most basic of these snippets of info is weight. I mean, American profiles contain weight information, too-if you are a sports star and are PAID FOR THE FREAKISH THINGS YOUR FIT BODY CAN DO. However, I don't think anyone wants to know exactly how much Jennifer Lopez or Justin Timberlake weighs. If you do, um, get a life.

However, beyond that, there are some very odd things included. One set of SS501 profiles talked about their annoying qualities, and I just uncovered a Super Junior page that described Eunhyuk's religion as "heretical Christian." Beyond these sorts of interesting anecdotes, we are treated to things like Members' ideal type of girl and 900 nicknames. Now, I understand including that in magazine features, but it's hilarious to me when these things show up in official company profiles.

Sometimes it is the smallest things that remind me that I am dealing with translations from another language and customs from another culture. The technology and glossy production may be the same, but the differences are still there, and they are pretty awesome.

I forgot you, SungMin

2009-06-13T15:28:00.001-07:00

I named 12 members of Super Junior today, and I was so irritated that I couldn't remember who I'd left out. Doubly tragic when I found out it was the lovely SungMin. I'm a bad llama (er, ELF). I have no excuse to offer except that the thought of SIWON is very distracting.

Kim Joon is Not Cool

2009-06-13T11:32:00.000-07:00

No, no, no, stop your finger-wagging. I love Kim Joon (Woo-Bin of F4 fame). I think he might be the cutest thing since beagle puppies. However, cool is not the word. Did you SEE those Haptic commercials? (You didn't? Well, then you missed Kim Hyun Joong being more beautiful than Edward Cullen on steroids, but that's another story.) Anyway, Kim Joon is a cross between your dad and your investment broker. I mean, was there ever anything more hilarious than watching him make Lee Min Ho toe the mark, or trying to keep Kim Hyun Joong on the straight and narrow? Other people might have just gone along and giggled, in manner of Son DamBi, but Kim Joon is not those people. Kim Joon, Ladies and Gentleman, is HYUNG.

On top of the whole "I have to make everyone younger behave," thing, there is the dorky laugh and junior-high attitude toward girls thing, or the complete lack of smooth behavior. I cannot cite a single example of this. It is far too pervasive.

If you put the F4 in a line, you have Lee Min Ho, who is a dork but is so charismatic that he comes off cool, Kim Bum, who oozes cool to the point that dorkiness runs from his presence, and Kim Hyun Joong, who is not cool on earth but is so awesome that he makes you believe that he is the coolest alien on whatever alien planet he comes from, and finally, you have Kim Joon, who looks adorable and sort of befuddled.

As my sister pithily put it, Kim Joon had better not stop rapping, because that is the only time he ever looks cool. Yep, pretty much,

Rock on, Kim Joon. Up with nerds.

K-Pop Collapse

2009-06-11T14:16:00.000-07:00

I am going to add my voice to the endless throng. Look, I realize that Hallyu stars like to push themselves and all. It's not necessarily their big bad management telling them to kill themselves. BUT, let's get some perspective here. These kids are in their early 20's in a lot of cases. Kim Hyun Joong just turned 23 years old (24 in Korea). We are not talking middle-aged adults who have had years to develop the wisdom to decide when they've had enough. No, what I fault their companies for is using these kids' unhealthy drive to their advantage. Instead of reining them in, they seem quite happy to let them run ragged until they literally collapse from exhaustion or worse.

In a lot of these cases, managers are in an almost parental role, or at least that of close aunt or uncle. There is no way they don't see the bags under the eyes and the bleary expressions, or, in other cases, the drops in emotional state. It is simply not enough to say, "Are you ok?" and go at that. In cultures in which responsibility is so highly prized, I highly doubt the likelihood of getting a straight answer.

The thing is, these companies control so much of these kids' lives as it is. What I want to see is management saying "You are not ok. You will rest. Right now." Is that too much to ask?

Why Do I Think 2PM is so Gross?

2009-06-11T10:57:00.001-07:00

This is the question of the day.

Super Junior Ate My Brain

2009-06-11T10:33:00.000-07:00

I have this theory that none of the members of Super Junior are actually full-sized human beings. I think when they film them, they make them look like normal men (well, normal might be a stretch), but in reality, they are elves. They are elves who were stranded on their journey from Middle Earth to the Grey Havens, and now they are trying to earn money to go join Santa in the North Pole, because that is the going job for elves these days.

But I digress.

My introduction to Super Junior – SuJu, to the cute, pretentious, or anyone who gets tired of spelling out the name, which is everyone – was less than auspicious. First, it was all “Who are these men who don’t fit in pictures? Oh, they are called Super Junior.” I thought this was a stupid name and that a) They were probably way too young, and b) They were probably weird. 0-1 I’ll let you guess which one.

Then it was all “This is HeeChul. He kisses boys.” What a great first member to recognize. Although I won’t complain too loudly because from HeeChul it is about half a degree of separation until you get to SIWON (whose name must always be typed in caps for obvious reasons). Actually, sometimes there is no separation, like when they are cuddling in bed. But anyway. SIWON and HeeChul are like Damon and Pythias, except I can’t ever remember what Damon and Pythias did, except I think one of them was bigger and the other one was smaller. Or something. I wonder if one of them was also a little twerp?

SIWON is like if you crossed a Ken doll with the Angel of Death and then made it take itself really seriously. He would be hilarious, except that no one who looks like that can ever be hilarious. Lucky for him. Very, very lucky. Some day, when they make those Bibleman videos into a cinema-release movie, SIWON will play Bibleman. He is already practicing with the suit.

Then there was a song called “Sorry, Sorry,” and maybe I’m stupid, but that did not strike me as a promising title, despite the fact that it won every award ever imagined in the brain of a self-esteem expert. So I watched the video. It takes place in this black-and-white alternate reality where everything is Really Really Cool and all the men wear suits and there are no women. (I don’t think any of the members notice the absence, really). There is dancing. And posing. And it is all very retro and very modern and very apologetic. And they say shawty a bunch of times, which should be against the law. And it has all the members, but they are all the same person and have one three-second close up each. So I was like “Ok, this song is cool,” and it jumped onto my iPod and got repeated like six thousand times.

This seems as good a time as any to advance my Theory of Super Junior and Sow’s Ears. Basically, Super Junior emphatically disproves the popular (?) adage that “You cannot make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.” If you have a continuum going, then SIWON is straight out of the cocoon, and a couple of the dark-haired ones I can never remember are still oinking. And yet, somehow, they all manage to be hot. Or, rather, production manages to convince us that they are all hot. I would love to say that this is magic, but personally, I think it is pure bluffing. “Here,” says production, “are 13 men wearing hot clothes, doing a hot dance, singing a hot song, and in a hot setting. We will even give them a hot angle. SEE! SEE! They are HOT!” And the combined effect of it all is that sow’s ears become silk purses, at least for a few minutes. Forget plastic surgery. Go join Super Junior.

Then there were the appearances on shows. Random members wore capes and that plump one was on “We Got Married” being an idiot and sometimes they dressed in drag and SIWON wants us all to be happy with Jesus, which, I am totally down with, even if you tell me while staring at me from underneath your Thunder Brows. And they tickled each other a bunch. There was this one blond one who was, like, everywhere. And sometimes he was being really cool, and sometimes he was being really pretty. And then he was two people. Not a hard mistake to make, really. Sorry Eunhyuk and EeTeuk. Oh, and everybody was mad at Kim KiBum because he was Not There, except all I could remember was Heroine 6 when he worse mouse ears and yelled “cat” all the time and was sort of cute. And I don’t think he could mean anything badly because I don't think he's a rocket scientist. Oh, and HeeChul was in a tent with somebody, and I decided that he had to be straight after all because it was so weird, except that did not create the unbridled joy you might expect because Kangin was drinking tea with that one tiny one who might be gay. Oh well.

And then there was “It’s You.” I would like to say that there is some reason for me to have freaked out so much, but really there probably isn’t. This video is in a different alternate reality, a sort of emo one, except it’s very pink. A third of the time they are all sitting around posed like one of those Victorian paintings where it looks like everything smells of roses and no one is smiling. Another third of the time they are dancing awesomely, and the final third they are all walking around dying of consumption. Except Kangin, who is dying to get out of there, Shin Dong, who is dying of his own cuteness, KiBum, who is dying of old age, and SIWON, who is too sexy for his coat. And there is no oinking because the good fairy has hit them all with her stick that makes us think they are hot. And there is a drama version, but we shall not speak of that.

Something about it finally all crowded down upon me. The collective elfin awesomeness and hugging and standing around in groups like they ate Mommy’s last cookie and giggling and dancing and dragging and making everyone cringe and wearing pretty pink clothes and looking like famine victims and being cool but not really and putting scriptures on cd covers and having crazy abs and lying on the floor shrieking in elfin laughter and being miniature. It all ate my brain. And now I am an ELF.